Guarasci Land...

Dear Gary,

Lately, I've been feeling like I'm invisible. It's as if nobody knows I'm even there. The other day I was in the 7-11 waiting online behind this guy. The clerk finished ringing him up and as I put m merchandise on the counter, he just walked away. All I wanted to do was buy my Yoo Hoo™ and Kit Kat™ and be one my way. I think I need to be more assertive but just don't know how to go about doing it. Can you help me?

The Vanishing Woman - Lake Hopatcong, NJ

Dear Vanishing Woman,

What we have here is something very interesting to say the least. You say that you just wanted to buy a YooHoo and a Kit Kat, this leads me to believe that you are drawing near your "Ladies Days" as Ray Romano aptly put it. Am I right?

I'm getting off track here. It doesn't matter if I'm right or not. (More than likely, I am.) What we have here is a situation that can clearly be used to our advantage. The next time you're feeling a craving for chocolatey goodness, I want you to take off all of your clothes and march straight into that 7-11 and go right to the refrigerator and pick up that Yoo Hoo™ and sashay over to the candy aisle and get yourself that Kit Kat™ that you wanted so much. Stroll on past the register, where the clerk is and walk right out the door. The clerk will be more astounded by the floating chocolatey treats then the fact that you just shoplifted. $2.69 from there. After a few times of doing this, you will feel confident enough to tackle on bigger tasks, such as banks. Hope this helps you.

Thanks for the question Vanishing Woman!


Post Script: Break me off a piece of that Kit Kat™ bar.