Friday, October 31, 2008

“Because we don’t know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. Yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number really. How many times will you remember a certain afternoon that’s so deeply a part of your being that you can’t even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four or five times, perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems so limitless.” - Paul Bowles

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Some Bits o’ Tid about Gary:



He falls down. A lot.

He likes to watch the TeeVee and enjoys cinematic adventures. He thinks whoever came up with TiVo is a genius.

He’s a big fan of Steve Thompson’s artwork and often wonders how he can cash in on his friend’s talent.

He can only speak one language but has solicited Alex and Lisa to teach him their native tongues for $1 cash money. They have both declined.

He writes crappy little screenplays/stories and is not-so-actively seeking representation. It seems agencies keep stealing his stamps from the SASE that he encloses in his inquiries. He has yet to receive a rejection letter.

He likes sandwiches.

He is a self-professed geek and still enjoys reading comic books. Superman is such a pimp.

His all-time favorite TeeVee shows are NYPD Blue, Friends, & The X Files.

His all-time favorite writer/director is fellow New Jerseyian Kevin Smith. He has been to several of his Q&A’s, one of which was filmed for DVD release. He does not appear on the DVD although the person next to him is on it 20x. He now knows what actors feel like when they get their scenes cut.

He thinks everyone should get a MAC.

He once had long hair and now he’s bald. Not by choice. If he had his way he would have been a cool old man. Long gray hair and a cane.

He recently received a noise complaint from his neighbor. Apparently his neighbor is not a fan of the video game Rock Band. He has since temporarily retired from his drumming career.

He does not eat pork, lamb or veal. Everything else is fair game for his gullet.

He’s a big fan of all types of cookies except Lorna Doones. He thinks that those are old lady cookies, but he doesn’t disparage those who enjoy them. He’s also not too fond of Ginger Snaps.

His alter ego is Nick Blacke.

More bits o’ tid to come…

Monday, October 20, 2008

The following is a true story. Only the thumbs have been changed to protect the innocent.


As the clock struck 12:00, the blade also struck. The knife's attention was not on time, but instead, it focused on the large firm onion on the white cutting board. It sliced through it like warm butter, only it did not strike the onion solely. It claimed something else in its path of destruction. My thumb did not start bleeding at first; it stared back at me in an almost taunting manner. Nyah, nyah, nuh-nyah nyah. I breathed a sigh of relief. Was I mistaken? Did the blade narrowly miss my second favorite thumb? I re-examined the tip and a sense of shock warmed over me as I noticed that a small portion of it was missing. Where could it be? Looking down at the chopping block, I noticed something that did not quite appear to be an onion. Could that be it? Is that the tip of my thumb lying there? I looked back at my thumb and the taunting ceased. Crimson droplets now dampened the once white onion dices and the matching plastic cutting board. Greeted now by a slow trickle of several tiny red dots from the wound, they slowly became larger, until replaced by a steady gushing of a thick red stream. The cutting board looked as if a layer of slick blackish-red oil smeared the top of it, similar to designs one would find in an art gallery. While admiring this "modern art" something else happened. The pain came. Pulsating to the heavy beat of a slow rock song, my thumb begged for a sense of soothing. I turned on the cold water and let the cool water run over the fresh gaping wound. Yow! The sting from the water took me back to those lost days of skinned knees and Bactine. It still hurt just as much as I remembered. I took a paper towel and wrapped it around my thumb. Bounty (the quicker picker-upper) was no match for the wound as it soaked right through its porous paper. A few paper towels later, I decided that my home remedy was not going to work. I needed to take a trip to the Emergency Room to have a professional tend to the wound. I grabbed my car keys with my one good hand while elevating the wounded one over my head. Before shutting the door, I took a quick glance at the clock.

The time… 12:01.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Friday, October 17, 2008

I love books. Let me rephrase. I love the concept of books. The actual chore of reading them is where I need a bit of assistance. I own a substantial amount of books in varying topics. If one were to peruse my library, and by library I mean a hand made bookcase that I received as a gift from a very close friend of mine back when Grunge ruled the world, but I digress…

In said library, you can find biographies of music icons, comic book heroes, political pundits, and gangsters (La Cosa Nostra gangsters not members of the hip-hop community) to name a few. Marilyn Manson, Kurt Cobain (Am I the only one left that thinks Nirvana was not overrated as everyone seems to suggest to me?), Jenna Jameson, Elvis, and Al Capone all share the same shelf.

Upon further gazing one might find tales of the Ebola virus and classics from H.G. Wells right along side Sylvester Stallone's 1st person novelization of the cinematic treat, Rocky II which goes very nicely with the FotoNovel: The Best of Rocky & The Complete Rocky II. The Grease FotoNovel (complete with song lyrics) is my favorite of the select few I own. What's that you say? You're surprised by my fondness for Grease? C'mon now, Grease is STILL the word.

Stephen King and Clive Barker, the full-on horror Barker before the fairy tales, (not that there's anything wrong with fairy tales) also grace the shelf with various books depicting non-fictional accounts of World War II.

Books about Vampires share space with rants from George Carlin and Michael Moore as well as David Milch's True Blue: The Real Stories behind NYPD Blue, which sits right alongside No Lights, No Sirens: The Corruption and Redemption of an Inner City Cop. A host of Dummies books also fills shelf-space in the hopes that one day I become smarter. Take note: If it hasn't happened yet, it never will.

Most of these treasures have been read and re-read, but there is that certain percentage that has not. Is it because I do not have time, or is it out of laziness? If you know me but at all, you would know that I am one of the laziest cats that have ever walked the earth. It could very well just be intimidation. Have you ever started reading a book, and looked down at the page number? It is intimidating to see that you are on page 5 and you have 498 pages more to go. It's enough for anyone to put the thing down and go take a nap.

Paul Reiser had a great idea when he wrote Couplehood - He started the book on page 145. No intimidation factor there - that is pure genius. Perhaps if the folks that publish books formatted them like a magazine or, even better yet, as comic books, I think that I would read a whole lot more.

My latest attempt at reading is a book called Heart Shaped Box by Joe Hill. Yes, it's Stephen King's li'l boy all growns up now. I started it with a fervor, enjoying the characters and the story, but just like his daddy, it started to give me the heebie-jeebies (For the record – I do not know what neither a heebie nor a jeebie is, but I know that they can't be good.) I started worrying that the ghost was going to; not only, get all the characters in the book, but also me. If I had room in my freezer, I would have hid the book in there. In the midst of getting scared, I became worried for the Goth Girl character (I don't know if I liked her cuz she hardly wore any clothes or what) and I stopped reading the book, for fear the ghost was going to get her. For you see, in my world, if you stop reading (or watching the TeeVee) the bad thing can't happen. So now, the book sits hidden underneath my mattress until some of the frozen treats are removed from my freezer. Maybe I'll just go read a comic book instead…

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Have you often times wished that you could take something back that you have said out of anger?
I can't even look at you right now!
Do you think back on arguments that you have had with your significant other regretfully?
Are you kidding me? What were you thinking?
At one time or another, we have all said things that we wish that we had not.
Just who do you think you're talking to like that?

I have been found guilty of this on many occasions in the past and regretfully, will probably be guilty of it in the future. Arguments between couples might eventually tear the relationship apart, but it can also provide to be a healthy part of said relationship. Learning from them is the key to growth in any relationship.

At one time or another, in any relationship, the first fight is bound to occur. I can remember my first fight with the first girlfriend I ever had as if it were yesterday. As teenagers without driver's licenses, we were limited to what we could do and at that particular point in our lives, walking over to the next town's movie theater was our only choice sans canoodling. I looked at my watch with the patience of a child.
"Are you almost ready? The movie's going to start in twenty minutes and it's going to take us fifteen just to walk there."
"Just a minute, please."
"You said that a half hour ago."
"I know, but now I'm looking for shoes to wear."
What is it with women and shoes? They only have two feet. Why do they need so many?
"What you had .. was fine."
"Oh okay. I think I'm going to put on sneakers instead. Is it cold out?"
"I don't know. I'm not outside."
"Do you think I should bring a sweater?"
"I think we need to leave now if we want to make the beginning of the movie."

I never quite understood the fascination of women and shoes, but this was my first experience with it. For me, man only needs three types of shoes; a pair of sneakers, a pair of work boots, and dress shoes for formal functions. Ladies on the other hand need ones for taking the bus into the city, ones for work, ones for around the house, ones for the nightlife, ones for summer, spring, winter and fall, and of course flip-flops. Flip-flops are a type of foot apparel that makes a god-awful clickety-clack noise of the flip (or is it the flop) slapping the soles of the feet, with each step. Their fascination amazes me.
Ultimately, the relationship I spoke of did not work out and looking back, the argument of making it to the movies on time could have led to the downfall. We broke up shortly thereafter primarily for us missing the best part of the movies - the previews, but there were other arguments that occurred afterwards. It was around this same time that I grew my disdain for tardiness. I took away from that relationship, a sense of awareness that arguing could lead to eventual breakups. Who woulda thunk?

Someone once said, "For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil". I do not know if this statement is true, but money can play a critical role in relationships and their arguments. I shudder to recall the time an intense argument occurred over money in one of my past relationships.
"Did you seriously spend $500 on shoes?" I asked. Oh brother, not again with the shoes. Please dear God in Heaven, not again with the shoes.
"Sandals."
"What?"
"I said sandals. I bought sandals not shoes."
"What would possess you to spend that much on shoes?"
"They were Jimmy Choos, and they're sandals not shoes."
"Who?"
"Jimmy Choo. They're the strappy ones that you said you liked."
"I liked them a whole lot better before I realized you spent $500 for them."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't complain when you buy you're stupid video games at $50 a pop."
"They're not stupid and they are very important."
"How so?"
"They improve hand to eye coordination in case I ever have to… you know."
"What?"
"Need to have cat-like reflexes."
"Yeah, that's what you need, cat-like reflexes."
Oh my God. Look at the time. My watch must have stopped. Surely, this cannot be correct.
"We're going to have to talk about this later. We're going to be late."

Subsequently, arguments do not necessarily have to be destructive. There are some arguments that are healthy for relationships; health issues as an example. It is only out of love that one would argue about another's eating habits. Why else would someone care what one throws down one's gullet? A plate of cheese fries with gravy was the kindling for the fire of a past argument.
"Seriously Gary, do you know how much fat and cholesterol is in that plate that you're eating right now?"
"No. How much?"
"I don't know but it can't be good for you. You really have to start eating healthier."
"I eat plenty healthy."
"Okay, take me through your day. What did you have to eat all day."
"All day?"
"Yes. Start with breakfast."
"I didn't have breakfast today."
"Oh no? What were you eating on the couch this morning while watching cartoons before I left for work?"
"Oh that. I had a bowl of Count Chocula© cereal before I left for work. But that's not breakfast that was more of a snack."
"Sure it was. What about lunch?"
"Lunch? Let me think. Oh yeah, me and some guys from work went to Hooters and split some wings."
"Hooters, huh? We'll talk about that one later. Was that all you had?"
"Well the wings were on the side of a Chicken Philly Cheese steak and we all shared the wings, ya know. I didn't have fries because I knew I was going to have them tonight."
"So you opted out of the fries and replaced them with what?"
"Jalapeno poppers."
"My God Gary, how can you eat all that fried stuff all day long?"
"What can I say? I love fried stuff with cheese."
"Promise me that you'll at least try to eat a little healthier during the week and cut down on the fried stuff to just the weekends. Can you at least do that?"
"Okay honey. I'll try to limit it to weekends only."
"Would you look at what time it is. We have to go. We're going to be late to visit Fred and Ethel. I can't wait to show her my new shoes."

Whether it proves to be healthy or unhealthy to a relationship, arguments are likely to happen. Some good can occur because of them, while at other times it is serves as the end. We can learn from these arguments and grow or suffer to repeat them; constantly moving from one relationship to another. From positive and negative outcomes, I just hope that I have learned something along the way. One of the lessons learned:
Do Not Be Late.

 

blogger templates | Make Money Online